Louis Hutong

Recommended Words

Anyone who has gone to the Silk Market can tell you that all the workers are trained to say the exact same thing, but can this be true? I'm pretty sure the girls have said "You're crazy!" to me multiple times.

Click on the pic for the larger, more readable version.

Discovered via Digg.

I Heart Beijing

Back in college, I briefly dated a theatre major. During that time, I saw two of her performances, one of which involved her standing on stage in her bra and panties for over half the show. It was at this point, a small BIG appreciation of theatre began to grow. A few years later, I ended up dating a theatre critic in San Diego who invited me to just about every show available. This gave me the opportunity for me to expand my appreciation of theatre beyond just the lower half of my body.

So now I'm sympathetic to the trials that "theatre folk" must endure to launch and put on their shows. It's not just learning your lines and putting up the set...you really have to work your tail off to get people into the show.

That said, I Heart Beijing will open this weekend, which means that the promoters are out in force. In the past two weeks alone, my attempt at a Coca-Cola induced, non-alcoholic stupor at the local bars has repeatedly been interrupted by the "adver-stickering" of my clothes (and forehead). The first and third time were by someone named Elyse and the second by another lady named Marisa. (To be honest, I initially thought they were the same person, mainly because after two years in China, all white women start to look alike.)

I finally gave in and checked out their website and after reading the synopsis, I think the show has enough potential to check it out. It probably wont hit Broadway anytime soon, but it should get a few laughs out of the local expat crowd.

So if you're in Beijing during the showing, try to attend. Judging from the promoters, they really are throwing their hearts into this and could use our support.

Note: Yes, I completely stole their poster image...but I have a feeling they wont mind.

More Notes: And while this isn't a musical, I know what my friend Brian is going to say as soon as he sees the photo above.

Italian H.O.A.

"No Lanterns", Italian city tells Chinese Community

Something tells me this all boils down to which culture makes a better noodle.

Crackdown

The government is in the midst of a crackdown on online pornography because many of their juvenile delinquents "were influenced by violent online games or erotic Web sites" while committing their crime. If that's the way they feel, more power to them.

What concerns me though is what those eight police officers were watching before they beat the hell out of an  African man in front of The Saddle on Sanlitun last Friday night. The lesson learned here is, if you're caught selling drugs, yelling "I have a passport" mid-beating will not get you any mercy from the local police.

Dangerous America

If I had a nickel for everytime a Chinese person tells me how they heard America suffered from a lot of crime and was a dangerous place...well, I'd have enough money to stop stealing purses from the little old ladies in the park!

Bad jokes aside, I'm always amazed by this statement because it never felt true to me until today. For your pleasure, CNN.com now offers a video for: "How to Survive in Prison".

Get your shiv ready.

Japan and China: Schoolchildren's views

You don't have to be in China long before you run across someone willing to tell you how much they hate Japanese. I've had the China-Japan argument many times with Chinese friends, girlfriends, and co-workers all of which ending up with me being wrong because I'm "not Chinese" and "can't understand." In my side of the discussion, I always propose that this will only get solved on a person-to-person basis, with both sides needing to make judgments based on personal experience and not just what their text book tells them.

As I said, I rarely win any converts...but if you're in the conversion business, you always need people to convert. And judging from the article below, it sounds like there will be potential converts for years to come.

Japan and China: Schoolchildren's views

Even though I want to, I'm not going to comment further on this. Anyone reading it can come to their own conclusions. China and Japan need their love-hate relationship for many political and economic reasons, it's just sad to see these kids destined to carry on these propaganda-fueled legacies.

Then again, maybe there is a little hope...but I'm guessing this is just PR as well.

The Spurning of Expat Women

It was only a matter of time before a blog like China Dirt popped up. Having been caught in the maelstrom of Western women going off on Western men dating Chinese women myself, it doesn't surprise me to see them take to the web. The site is fairly well written and I get the impression that the owners of it, while not happy with their local dating options, still have some hope and approach this whole topic with some needed lightheartedness.

I'll try to do the same as I give my two-cents on this issue. But as a disclaimer, I'm going to do some mass-generalizing along the way. I recognize that not every person is the same, but for the sake of simplicity, I'm going to focus on what I see happening more often than not. And yes, I'm aware that no matter what I say, I'm now the devil in the eyes of most every woman in Beijing. That's why this post has been sitting as a draft in my account for about a month and a half now. 

So let's just start off by saying most of the expat men are no different than the men back home, only the environment has changed. Men who were once average, now are distinct, intriguing, and exotic to many of the locals. The world is opening up to these women and sometimes the expat male gives them a glimpse into something new. The same is true in reverse, the girls here are different and the men are equally curious about the girls suddenly giving them so much attention. Moths and flames come to mind right now, but who is the moth and who is the flame is up to your interpretation.

To Western women though, many of the expat males are not inherently interesting because of where they were born. They are for the most part, just like the guys you grew up and hung out with back home. Sure, they are different in the sense that they packed up and moved to China, but so did you...so that doesn't make them that distinct to you either. --- These are still the same guys you could once parade yourself around and pick at your leisure. Under your standard model, the guy feels special because YOU picked him and to be honest, I think you liked it that way. Now, the guy feels special because of who he is (no matter how superficial), and not because of the hoops he has to jump through to get to you.

Because lets be honest, the games employed by many Chinese women are much different than yours. In the early stages at least, the Chinese games are far less emotionally sophisticated, which makes it far easier to enter (some might say "get suckered") into a relationship. And to be honest, they seem to appreciate the attention they receive more than some of expat ladies, who seem to cast a critical eye on many of our good gestures as if we just "wanted something" from you. So many of you are still pouring over The Rules and Men are from Mars as though it were the relationship Bible,when they could just let their guards down a little bit. Hell, if some of you would just stop sneering at the poor guys who accidentally make eye-contact with you in the bar would be a good start. (Ok, that one was unfair...I'm actually just ranting about the Brazilian/Russian supermodel contingent at a bar I frequent! ha!).

You might even try to revive the lost art of flirting? I know this sounds incredibly strange, but many of you have lost your touch in this department. I can walk about to 95% of the single Chinese women and partake in some harmless flirting. Yeah, sometimes I'm just being a little goofy, but saying a few nice words and trying to make someone laugh seems to go a LONG way here. And when they really want to, many Chinese women know how to make great eye contact. When I try this with the expat ladies, they more often than not, refuse to play along. I'm sorry, sometimes they do partake in flirting, but only if he is tall, dark, and handsome and capable of somehow riding up next to you in the bar on his white horse wearing his shiny, new armor. Let's be honest though, what happens next is not even flirting, it's you now flinging yourself at your supposed "white" knight.

And it's here where most of the bitterness creeps in towards expat men. Why? It's because that man isn't interested in you and you're unable to fathom the reason. Well, here's a over-simplified explanation. All that pent-up rage you have about this topic, well it becomes emotional baggage for you. How many men do you know like a girl carrying around emotional baggage? They like Samsonite for their business trips,not their dating relationships. This means the guy is going to start looking elsewhere for someone a little more well-adjusted. I'm not saying he's going to find well-adjusted  in some of the Chinese women, but at least they aren't projecting anger and spite at him.

Realizing this, you start berating the males around you with blanket statements regarding their gender's mission in China. And since verbal confrontation has never been listed down as an aphrodisiac, the men start putting space more and more between you and them. Ironically, there was probably a guy or two in the mix who was just starting to like you until you lumped him into your anti-testosterone rant. Eventually he'll start playing back in his mind the number of times he's heard a Chinese woman go off on that, figure out it's zero, and begin to understand why his fellow males begin to like the locals.

So what should you do about this? How can you fight this travesty? Well, here's my plan:

1. Get Over It: If you just would let go and not let your misconceptions get in the way, you're going to see there are a few diamonds (ok, maybe Zirconia's) in the rough. You might even have a little fun with someone you normally wouldn't date.
2. Find Your Niche: You can offer something to the expat males that most Chinese women can't. A true understanding of their culture, what they are trying to accomplish in their lives, and the challenges they face. I can assure you many expats find this part very difficult when "seriously" dating a Chinese girl.
3. Dance: Go to the clubs and look at the girls around you. Remind yourself that you can do a much better job of it. Yeah, some of the girls can put on a good show, but that's all it is, a good show. You are real and something genuine is attractive. In a sense, I'm not really talking about dancing here, but you can figure it out from there.
4. Respect The Man: Don't confuse what you call submissive in Asian women with what many men refer to as a little respect and admiration. I'm not saying all those men actually deserve this, but  they do enjoy it and there is a lesson here. You don't have to bow in deference, so don't start with that line of thinking. I'm just suggesting that a little respect in a relationship goes a LONG way, especially with men. We're simple like that.
5. Respect Yourself: Stop pitying yourself and don't settle for a jerk. Yeah, it's going to be a little more difficult than back home, but hold firm to your standards. Don't let temporary set-backs turn into vindictive rage. Be confident, not arrogant. It really does work.

At this point, someone is reading this and saying to themself, "Louis, you got burned bad in China." Well, to be honest, that's not the case at all. I'm just a guy who looks around and still sees a lot of expat males and females hitting it off, having a great relationship, while the rest of us get maligned as heretic  worshipers of the local goddesses. And since I get frustrated myself at times, I thought I'd share a few of my thoughts on this topic. It is my blog. *grin*

So please don't hate me. I'm just an American Southern boy who grew up on catfish, sweet tea, and girls destined to be Miss America. I still remember what it you were like back in my Pre-China days and I remember it fondly. However, if I feel as though I'm being put through a test by you and your friends, I'm going to leave. I'm still young, but I'm too old to be put through an obstacle course over a prize that may not be worth winning.

I'll stop here. I think I could at least write seven more paragraphs dissecting this topic further, but at that point, I might as well contact a publisher and ask for a book contract. Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments section below, I'm not scared...

Let's just hope I don't have to rename this site "Louisa Hutong" after this.

Mike Seaver in China

I'm sitting in a lounge here at the Beijing airport waiting for my now two-hours late flight to Bangkok. On the TV screen in front of me is what looks like a documentary on the U.S. TV show Growing Pains. At first, I thought it was just the news and that Alan Thicke had died! But once I realized this wasn't the case, I had to wonder...is this show really influential enough in China to need a 30-minute documentary about it?

To top that off, the amount of time spent on Kirk Cameron's character was somewhat disturbing. Everytime I looked up at the TV, it seemed as though they were in midst of a character montage centered around him.

Is it possible that Mike Seaver is/was a sex symbol in China?

And more importantly, is there a potential Growing Pains: Family Trip to China movie in the works?!? If so, the subplots about Carol relapsing into anorexia after comparing herself to always-thin Chinese girls and Ben's fetish for young asian males could be somewhat disturbing. I am however hoping to see a brief cameo appearance by Coach Lubbock teaching young Chinese kids how to play basketball...

Good to be French

Oh man, wait until all the Chinese girls read this...

Zhang Ziyi spotted with Tcheky Karyo

All I can say is that if you're an old, married French man in China with a hard to pronounce name, you might get swarmed by starry-eyed Chinese nymphettes dying to meet you. You're going to be the latest must-have arm ornament for the Spring Festival this year.

Enjoy your 15 minutes...

Update: Actually this is not Tcheky Karyo, but a guy named Vivi Nevo. Check this link for more!

Unexpected Insight

Most brilliant quote of the evening:

"In China, if the buck stops here, does it mean it still has to go through 8 people?"

For those outside of China, I'm sure that made absolutely no sense. For those of us in China, it actually causes you to pause and wonder if it may actually be true.