Merry Christmas everyone, I'm back in the US celebrating this most hallowed of shopping seasons. In case you've forgotten America, it's where I now...
- Want to scream at waitresses to get their attention and then forget to tip them because, well, I don't do that anymore.
- Swerve endlessly on the highways "Beijing style" almost giving my parents a heart attack.
- Constantly have people say to me, "I bet you're ready to come home America," as I stifle my inner voice which is screaming, "Are you crazy?!?"
- Bring a bowl of anything (nuts, salad, etc.) up to my chin to eat.
- Constantly drop my fork because it seems so foreign and chopsticks so much more useable.
- Feel uncomfortable if I'm not crowded in a tight space with 50 other people.
- Similarly, wonder why everything in America is spread so far apart. How am I supposed to one get to one of the 37 different restaurants without driving?
- And surprisingly, where I now get nervous around white people.
- Must go to a Starbucks full of soccer moms instead of one full of beautiful Chinese girls with oversized sunglasses all hoping to get discovered as the next, great model/actress/singer.
- Am surprised people no longer want to talk with me just because I'm American!
Anyway, enjoy your holidays, not matter where you are!
And to keep you focused on the season, here is some of the Beijing Baby Jesus action I commented on earlier.