As I previously wrote about here, a friend of mine unleashed upon the local female population the chinese catnip of conversational coitus, i.e. the Doraemon button. On Sunday, I witnessed first-hand its dark power almost consume its owner. Had I not been there, he may not have made it out alive.
After a quick lunch at Grandma's Kitchen, a few of us went down to the Silk Market (Xiushui) to do a little clothes shopping. It's actually one of the few places a tall foreigner can shop where the sizes are not restricted to mini, micro, and midget. As we passed through one of the aisles, my friend was seized by one of the shop girls and dragged into her stall. In her "bargaining" voice she begins begging him to give her the button, as if it were a gift destined just for her. Agitatedly my friend quickly said no, at which point the girl starts a bartering process where she offers to trade him his Doraemon button for her smaller Hello Kitty button. If the emasculation potential of that trade was not enough of slight, she then throws in a 2 year old convention button with obvious rust markings along the side.
Despite my laughter, we pulled him out of the store and continued on our journey. Unfortunately, the Silk Market collective mind had somehow been "made aware" of the button. "Keai, Keai!" the strange creatures started chirping as they began to leap from the stalls; reaching and grasping for the precious button. It took a little physical force, but we finally reached a small oasis (the escalator) where he removed the button from his lapel, finally stopping the button's gravitational well of cuteness.
Unfortunately it was not fast enough to stop one desperate shop girl from screaming, "Are you a girl?!?"